Lions and Tigers and Dinosaurs?!?!? OH MY!!

These two are at such fun stages right now. 

They make me laugh constantly.. Keller likes to pretend he is a big boy and can do anything he wants on his own... And Sailor learns quickly from Keller and she thinks she is a big girl who can do anything for that she wants! What happened to my babies?!? These littles are only one and two but act like they are 5 and 12- But regardless of their little independent attitudes, these two are still my sweet little monkeys and I love them more than anything and I love making memories with them while I can still call them my babies! 

Soooo... Me and these monkeys decided to get a zoo pass! We found a great deal so it totally made it worth it! Keller has been wanting to go to the zoo for a few weeks now! We were talking with our sweet little nursery class a few weeks ago and asking them what they all did the previous week, the majority of them said "the zoo!!!" And then preceded to tell us their favorite animals. As we left, I was in big trouble with Keller.. "Mom, why you didn't take me to the zoo?" It broke my heart and that is when it all began... So two weeks after Keller's sweet hints... And not so subtle begging we just had to go! And go we did! 

The weather was supposed to be kinda icky which we were excited for... So that the animals would be more active, But surprisingly it ended up being a really nice afternoon and the storm kindly waited until we got home which ended up being a huge blessing!

Well, the zoo needless to say was a huge hit with the kiddos! Sailor and Keller loved looking at the animals, looking for dinosaurs, and Keller's personal favorite... Riding the train with grandma!! 

It was a perfect day and we can't wait for many many more fun days at the zoo this year!!!

little Zuri swimming!

on a random note- not only are these sweet pictures of Sailor and Keller and their best buddy Grandma absolutely darling, but this sweet elephant in the background passed away the next day- her name was Dari and she was a sweet gentle giant- so fun that we could see could see her before she passed. 

and then there's this... funny little Zuri is still trying to nurse at 6 years old! it was funny and weird at how human it looked

i tried so hard to get Keller to take a closer pic to the big ol' T-REX but that just wasn't happening! He had a definite love/ terror relationship with this thing! I don't blame him... it was a very intimidating dinosaur! 

  

Thoughts of a working mom.....

Being a working mom is hard. There, I said it. 

There are days that I climb into the car to leave and just want to cry. 

There are times when as I am driving singing along to the radio, I break out bawling- I mean full on ugly crying because the song made me think of my sweethearts. 

I am constantly missing my babies when they are away from me and I'm thinking about them 110% of the time. 

Being a working mom is hard. Period. 

I constantly ask myself why. I try to reason. I beg and plead with myself to keep going- but most days, I just don't want to. I want to climb out of bed, walk across the hall, and bring my little sweethearts back into bed with me and snuggle the day away. I want to spend our days at the park and at duck ponds. I want to have play dates and adventures. I want to spend endless hours making endless memories. I want to be a stay at home mommy. 

They need me, I need them. 

Yes, I know being a stay at home mommy is hard too... Yes I know I would maybe sometimes on the rare occasion miss working... but- it is my dream. It is my wish. It is what I want ever so badly, but it is not my reality.

Never once did I imagine that me working was going to be the hardest part of parenthood for me. Never once did I imagine that I would rather spend the day in grungy clothes crawling around on the floor wrestling when I could be dressed up and making money. Never once did I imagine that I would rather go without because that meant that I would be gaining so much more. 

Being a working mom is hard. 

I have had multiple people ask me why I would rather work- the truth... I wouldn't. 

I would rather be doing so much more- but that is not my reality. You see, working means that as hard as it is to push myself to work each morning- the smiles I see when I watch me sweethearts when I get home makes my heart swell! The excitement I see and hear when Keller ice skate are priceless. The thought of paying for hockey, swimming, baseball, soccer, dance, piano, etc... Etc... Etc...  Excite me... And terrify me! 

Being a working mom is hard. BUT I do it for my sweethearts. I do it so we can go on that little vacation, play sports, have adventures, and so much more. 

No, I don't like it. No, I don't hate it. I actually love the people I work with- but I love my kiddos more. 

I would give my right kidney if it meant I could stay home and still afford to live our normal life, to do the things we love, to be debt free.  But today is not that day, so I will take a big breath, put on a smile, kiss my babies, and work so that i can give them all they could ever imagine.