Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Back to the grindstone....


oh how I have dreaded this day. since the day we found out we were pregnant to the first time I laid eyes on my little princess there was always a day in the back of my mind that I dreaded.... that day, is today. Trying to go to bed last night was like pulling teeth- I couldn't sleep! knowing that once morning came I would have to leave my babies literally sickened me! Now I know I sound a little... of maybe a lot dramatic... BUT! these are my babies and over the past two and a half months I have been with them - snuggling, playing, kissing, hugging, laughing, crying, you name it and I was there! Sure there are days where I was quite certain my sanity was questionable, days when my mind and body were totally exhausted- but no matter what the feeling, I was there with my babies being what I always wanted to be, a mommy!
Going back to work after I had Keller was rough and I wanted nothing more than to stay home and snuggle my baby- BUT now I have 2 and it was so so SOOO much harder this time! I have loved being home listening to Keller jibber jabber as he constantly learns new things and I have loved watching him grow! Can you believe that he will be 2 in just a few weeks!! ay carumba! and then there is little miss Sailor, I just love her so much! I love watching Keller snuggle his baby and love her more than words can say!
I don't mean to whine but gosh DANGIT I miss them already! and so, as I sit here pumping I just can't stop  thinking about my babies.

So to say that I've been a little emotional lately would be a total understatement! going back to work has been rough!! not the actual job, not the lack of sleep... it is all because of the two little humans I am away from all day.

 I just don't like it one bit!!! Keller has woken up at 5 AM everyday that I've had to work. he doesn't get up to cry he just gets up to e with me. which makes me cry!
this morning he told me to get back in bed and stay home... he kept telling me... "bed mom!!! home please!!!! Keller?? no work." begging me to stay home with him- I laughed and tucked him into a makeshift bed on our recliner. and he would lay there as I got ready until he fell back asleep. It is adorable- BUT it breaks my heart!! oh if he only knew what I'd give to snuggle him all day, everyday!! and then there is miss Sailor- I am quite certain that she finds the whole ordeal quite entertaining. She wakes up, I feed her and lay her back down- and then she wakes up again to smile and chat until she knows she has our full attention and wakes her daddy up too!

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