Sunday, October 27, 2013

One year!!!

we made it little buddy!!! you officially survived your first year!! as I lay here in bed after a busy week of festivities I am full of mixed emotions.
can it really be?!? is my baby really one?!? my oh my this year has snuck by ever so quickly!!! I don't even know where to begin!! exactly one year ago today daddy and I were sitting at home holding our brand new bundle of joy in our arms completely confounded at how quickly the week seemed to fly by! in that short little week, you had already changed so much and now look at you! you are my little... ummm scratch that… my BIG baby!! you are running around with a toy in each hand ( usually a car and a ball) reaching for any snacks or goodies you can find! and lately that means M&Ms... yes you seem to be obsessed with those little pieces of chocolate goodness! but no worries we are not completely terrible parents, letting you eat just junk 😊 luckily for us you have your mammas love for fruits and veggies! apparently you are a huge broccoli fan! oh and let's not forget your love of asparagus! dad was shocked!!! what can I say- you make your mamma proud! 😉  it is so funny to watch the things you seem to pick up on so quickly and watch your little mind work! I can watch you for hours!! and I do! I love the little quirky looks you give me! and the way you still love to snuggle!! you are my baby boy for now and forever!!! I might as well apologize now for all the future embarrassment I will provide you with, I simply can't help myself! you are my little love bug! I love every little thing about you and I wouldn't have life any other way than having you at my side! you and daddy are my world and I love you to the moon!!! I wish I could freeze this moment - and this feeling so that I could sneak back to it every once in a while because I know far to soon you will be grown. but for now I will cherish every little second and kiss and hug you more times than you could count!! I love you Keller bug!!! don't grow up too fast!
Well my little prince charming, for your very first birthday daddy couldn't think of any better way to celebrate than to take you boating! hahaha so... boating away we did go! We had a weekend of ups and downs (we will talk about those at another time!) but we successfully made it to St. George and after a few visits to instacare- the weekend was a success! yay!! We will most definitely post all the little details later but for now I will simply say- happy birthday little angel! I love you more than you will ever know!!!
xoxo mommy

Sunday, October 6, 2013

The countdown is on...

Can you believe that it is already October?!?!? And by October I mean my baby will be one in no time at all! Where did this year go? Since when has time moved this quickly?

This was one year ago on Oct 7th (after general conference last year!) ps "V" sorry dont kill me! haha I promise she doesnt always dress so stylish! wink! wink! she was wearing like 4 different holiday outfits in one.. why?!? more like... WHY NOT?!??!

notice anything different?!?! Aside from missing the christmas and thanksgiving atttire.....  haha this is us now....


The countdown is on. We are now exactly 15 days away from my baby turning one!!! ONE! O-N-E! This makes me panic just a little. It makes me so happy and so excited and yet so sad in a silly little way! I find myself saying this every day and even more so every month as he seems to grow so quickly, but honestly, where does the time go? Sometimes I wish it would go faster, as in bedtime or working when the end of the day just can't come soon enough, but most days I just want it to stop, to freeze time and freeze the moment. I never want to forget this, any of it.  

Is it possible to love it all? The giggles, the snuggling, the hugs and kisses, and even the little tantrums and messes? I know I don’t always love it in the moment- But it all goes by so quickly, too quickly. I still laugh when I think of the first tantrum Keller threw! You couldn’t help but to laugh with his reaching for the phone and then sitting –totally folding in half –and then up again-and down again until the point of giggling! Even he wasn’t sure what he was doing! It was the funniest thing- I am sure I will be singing a totally different tune in a few years if he were to do it again- but right now, I this moment, I love it.
I love the way he squeals and giggles as he runs across the room! Because heaven knows walking is totally overrated at times! Or how he scrunches his arms up like that of an 80 year old man while concentrating on his next step. It has all gone by so quickly. From stumbling to walking and now running to and from room to room- running to dad with his hands in the air! Playing basketball and giggling nonstop!! I love my little mischief maker and want nothing more than for him to give me that perfect smile forever!

Did I mention he is a mischief maker! This boy has energy!! Like I get tired just watching him sometimes. I have a feeling I am in big trouble when he gets older! I laugh at his curiosity and mimicking every word or action! What is he thinking? What is he learning? It all just fascinates me. He will stand up getting the biggest smile on his face like he is so proud of himself and then you see this little look sneak across his “innocent” planning face and he will bolt!! Giggling thinking he is absolutely hilarious! And really we can’t blame him, because it is just about the funniest and cutest thing I have ever seen.

Every morning he will wake up excited to come into mom and dad’s bed for just a little bit! He generally wakes up about an hour earlier than he should and yells for us- yes we are exhausted- yes we want to be sleeping- BUT that hour or even few minutes of bringing him into our bed to snuggle- that is the best part of the night. He is a snuggle bug and even though he is quite the acrobatic- wiggles in and almost instantly falls right back to sleep with one hand on mom and one hand on dad. What could be more perfect? It is these short lived moments that make my heart melt- these moments that make me so grateful and so proud to be your mommy! It is these moments that break my heart knowing that one day they will end- one day you will be too big and too cool for snuggling but for now it is perfect! You are my baby and I am your mommy!! We then get up for breakfast, paly with cars and sing songs!!
It is in these moments that  nothing else matters. The feeling is unmatched to anything in the entire world. I wish there was a word to describe it. The only thing I can think of is true love, an unconditional love so strong that I would give up anything to have it. It is in these moments that I love and cherish every second- it is in these moments that I become a mommy! It is in these moments full of love and laughter that I welcome this approaching birthday and say bring it on!!

As I say every month, I love him, we love him. Time moves by so quickly but is full of so many fun memories. Life is so fragile and quick! If you're not careful it will pass you by in the blink of an eye. I am thankful for every moment that we share together and every moment that I watch him grow and learn. Every smile, every laugh, and every little breath! I am thankful! I am thankful for this moment and all the moments to come! 15 days will pass far too quickly and your little birthday will be here before I know it! I cant wait- I cant wait to celebrate the day we met our sweet little angel! Mr Keller Bug- I love you!! Thank you for the incredible spirit you have brought into our lives and our home but most of all into our hearts! We love you and your perfect little spitfire personality! I love you to the moon!! We have made the most amazing memories and together as a family we will make many many more!!!!

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Family Pictures!!

Okay so the morning of Kurt and my anniversary, I received some very exciting news……. I won a giveaway!!! Can I get a whoop! Whoop! You have no idea how excited I was about this! I won a photo session with Perrywinkle Photography! And can I just tell you that I seriously felt like it was Christmas morning! Well I was even more excited when Lauren let us schedule them out in August so that we could spread our family photos out a little more than 3 weeks since was had already scheduled Kellers 6 month pics. Well as August approached the time was here! Family pictures were on!! Wahoo!! And to make things even better… I got my makeup done by Kissable complexions! Can you say amazing!!! Um yes!!! Well friends here are a few sneak peeks of our family pictures!!!

Kurt's Florida Adventure

Keller loves his daddy!!! After returning home from our quick road trip to visit family in Las Vegas Keller couldn’t have been more excited to see his daddy!!! He missed him like CRAZY!!! Every night we face-timed Kurt and Keller would fall asleep listening to his daddies voice on the phone! Well as you can imagine the real thing is always better than face time!! As we opened the door when we got home Keller squealed daddy and his attitude went from heartbroken (cried for his daddy the last 3 hours of our drive L) and he went to being straight downright excited!! My baby was finally back to himself!! I couldn’t help but to smile in relief and happiness seeing Kurts face! We were home and it felt soooo good!! Well arriving home late Tuesday night we quickly unpacked and got ready for work the next morning- as you can imagine, Keller was not thrilled that mommy and daddy were leaving! Luckily for him Auntie V ditched school and hung out with him all day!!! Well Wednesday night, back from work we then did what I and Keller had been dreading.. we helped dad pack for his work trip L Over a week and no fun daddy time! Keller was devastated! Haha well as devastated as a little almost 11 month old mister gets! Well early (4AM early!) Thursday morning We headed to the airport for Kurts EXCITING Florida work adventure!
Well fast forward and boom Keller and I officially were having daddy withdrawls! But on the plus side here is a little of what happened….
Our happenings:
-The house finally got deep cleaned!! Whoop! Whoop!
-Work! Work! Work!
-Birthday party planning
-And drum roll please…. Mantels were stained…
-and messes were made! L Tears may or may not have been shed!

Kurts Happenings:
-Missing his little buddy and wifey

What a Week :(

Okay so a little forewarning… please don’t be offended by anything in this post- and I promise I am not a woe is me kinda person… this is a post more for me and my “journaling” than anything! So with that warning – continue if you dare!! Haha just kidding… but really! J
There are days when everything goes perfectly right and then others where everything seems to go wrong- A few weeks ago, I had day after day that I wanted to just sit back and take a break- don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for all that I have and everything that I have been blessed with and I full heartedly believe that it is because of days like these- but lets be honest, I don’t exactly welcome trials with open arms and to be perfectly honest… I don’t know that I know anyone who does…. Right?
Well, It all started  the week of Sept 8th- what an amazing and memorable day!!! My little mister started full on walking on his own! And Im not just saying a few steps… I am talking full on across the room walking!! Time is flying by way too quickly!!walking at 10 months?!?!? Where on earth did my baby go!!! Well I regret to say that, that excitement was short lived!
Sept 9th- This day gave Mondays a whole new meaning. It was a rough day for my little buddy!!! After working I picked up my little angel only to take him home to find a fever of 102.8, I know I am not the only mommy who’s heart sinks when their poor baby is sick, in fact it is a sour symptom that comes along with motherhood! Wouldn’t it be great to be able to take all the sickness or pain our little’s ever suffer and fix it for them! The whimpers, the looks, the tears! Together they melt my heart and make me a heartbroken mess!! Little did I know, that Monday would be the easiest day of the week as the week went on- our little mister’s temperature went from high to higher finally maxing out at 105.9 Thursday morning. As you can imagine our week was full of both physical and emotional heartache. Not to mention complete sleep exhaustion- getting no more than 3 hours of sleep a day!! Well to add to our week- My mom called me Tuesday afternoon to let me know that my sweet grandmother had passed away. I didn’t know what to think or feel at that point. As my heart sank deeper into my chest I looked at my sweet baby in my arms as well as my two cute nieces who were hanging out with us for the day and I had two thoughts–  “my first thought was quickly- are you serious?!? Could anything else go wrong?!?” But my second thought was -- “this is why we do it!” Even through the suffering, the pain, and sickness- this is why we are here. Family.  Hearing my mom’s voice shake over the phone as her and I sat in our own silence- I was happy. Not happy in a fun and jumping sort of way- but happy in a knowing and hopeful kind of way. As my eyes and heart filled with tears, I couldn’t help but to be thankful.  I was happy that my mom was able to be at my grandmothers side during her last days, I was happy that she no longer had to suffer the pains that overtook her frail and fragile body due to muscular dystrophy, and I was happy knowing that although her mind was not with her before she passed- she was now able to look down knowing, seeing, and remembering each and every one of her children and knowing the love that she had for each of them. As I listened to my mom over the phone, Addie noticed my eyes watering and she gently gave me the sweetest hug saying “Jackie its okay , do you have an owie? I can fix it” Instantly I couldn’t help but to smile, knowing that even through life’s ups and downs, we have each other, we have family. The gratitude and love that I feel for the gospel and knowledge that families are forever does in deed play a huge part in my daily activities and the things I say and do- but it is times like these that we are truly tested, and times like these that our savior holds out his hand for us to guide us and to help us. As I sat back and looked around I was grateful. I was so grateful that I was blessed with a mom who taught me to be a mom, a mom who taught me things I didn’t even realize until Keller came along. As I sat, totally sleep deprived holding Keller as his little body shook from his temperature- I was grateful that I was able to feel comforted hearing my mom’s voice, even though heartbreaking news. I am grateful that I am able to comfort Keller. There were so many little things that after sitting back and letting it all sink in, I was grateful for. Don’t get me wrong, I was not my bouncy fun filled self, for the week I wanted nothing more than to magically cure Keller and then crawl into a hole and sleep for 6 days straight but who am I kidding- that will never happen!!
Well, as the week progressed, Keller’s temperature fluxuated back and forth till finally meeting its max of 105.9 and slowly coming down.  Thank goodness!!! Well then Saturday with a temp of 100.9 we packed and headed to Las Vegas for my grandma’s funeral.
Keller and I drove down with my dad, Anthony, and veronica- as Kurt wasn’t able to join us because of school, work, and a pending work trip. Well needless to say, it was a very long weekend being away from Kurt! Keller and I both missed him more than words can express!!! Thank goodness for face time and phone calls! I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that it took almost 4 years before we had to spend time together! Haha apparently we are spoiled!!! However, as hard as it was to spend time away from Kurt while in Vegas, it was so good to see everyone and introduce Keller!
With everything from sickness to road trips, to viewings and funerals- There is one thing that was the best part of it all- Families. Families are eternal. I know that I do indeed have a family here that I want to spend eternity with!!! “I have a family here on earth; they are so good to me! I want to share my life with them through all eternity!! Families can be together forever, through heavenly fathers plan! I always want to be with my own family and the lord will show me how I can!!”

at the doc

it was a rough day

look who finally started to feel better -temp was over 103 in this pic- but he felt way better than when it was almost 106!!

on our way to vegas.... the back seat was a real party!

facetiming with daddy!!! Ya I know it My hubby is a hottie!!!!

napping by grandpa!

napping with auntie V... ya when you have a temp for a week you want to sleep after!

just chatting it up with my grandma's brother... The last time I saw him was when I was Kellers size!

napping with Uncle Anthony!

9.5 behind!!!

9.5 months- ya ya ya I know I am posting this over a month too late! I have been overly busy!! it was one year ago today that i was anxiously counting down the days to meet you! to hold you in my arms. to kiss your perfect face. and to even name you!! now as i hold you. kiss you. and call your sweet name i cant help but to laugh and to smile.  you are my world!!! well my sweet little angel today has been a busy week for you!! my heart is so full of mixed emotions right now! as your first birthday approaches (less than 2 months away now!!) I feel as though you are trying to grow up to a toddler  far too quickly! in one short week, you have grown up so much!! you have gone from 4 teeth to SEVEN (almost 8!) you love to gibber jabber and mimic EVERYTHING!!! like counting to ten, telling us NO, saying all done, peekaboo, love you, etc... I LOVE every little Squeak & Squeal!!! you are my world!!! and to make things even more eventful today my little mister you started WALKING!!! and no I don't mean holding on to things walking or using your little walker walking.... I mean full on official walking!!! ahhhhh!!!! You sure know how to keep us on our toes!!! I love you little buddy!