Wednesday, February 3, 2016

MY MOMMY NEEDS ME....

What a blur life has been lately!!!
We started this year out with a bang!
For the past year or so, Keller has had an extremely swollen throat… I always assumed it was his glands being swollen from having colds constantly.. Only when he actually was sick I felt like he looked even more swollen. I felt like I was constantly taking him into the doctors for one sickness or another… constantly receiving antibiotics and going through countless bottles of Ibuprofen. It was always frustrating to hear the repetitive… oh he is fine, it is just an ear infection.. or the … there is just so much going around right now… kids are bound to get sick. Yes, I heard it all… but I was done! I was worried about my little guy, my baby boy!
Finally back in November, while in California, Keller got sick again- that was the final straw! What was wrong.. why did everyone make me feel like a crazy mamma… This isn’t normal… right?!?!
Well, right then and there.. While in California, I decided to call an ENT back in Utah and set up an appointment. We met with the ENT in the first of December where I found out that, it wasn’t his glands at all that were so swollen… but rather his tonsils. His poor little tonsils and adenoids where extremely swollen to the point that they were worried for severe airway obstruction. And then there is his poor little ears… there was infection and drainage that had been sitting there for MONTHS…. No wonder his poor little ears are so sensitive!!
SOOO…. The date was set to have his tonsils and adenoids removed as well as tubes put in both ears.
At the time, this really didn’t seem like a big deal at all, after all, it is SUPER common right? And I had seen much much worse when I used to work clinically.
This was going to be a piece of cake!
When January approached I was so excited that he would finally be able to breathe and talk.. and hopefully not be in constant pain or discomfort anymore!
Keller and I woke up early to head to the hospital… Keller started to get very nervous in the car. Mommy started to get nervous to. I tried brushing the feeling off… this was a minimal risk procedure.. right? Nothing could go wrong… there are so many worse off… I needed to be strong! I smiled and tried to get Keller to sing songs with me on our way. He kept asking questions… not fully understanding what was going on. We said a prayer together.
Keller told me multiple times that we were going to be best buddies forever and we are always going to need each other. I fully agreed.
We arrived to the hospital and checked in. Keller and I snuggled and talked about our fun plans for the week ahead…. And they called his name.
We walked with his nurse back to the room to get ready. Keller was nervous when they handed me the gown to get him changed…
“why do I have to wear funny whammies? (jammies)”
I was nervous that he would struggle with everything.. but to my surprise, my little buddy made me so proud! He changed into their silly jammies climbed onto their silly bed and let the tech do everything she needed. She took his blood pressure multiple times, checked his oxygen levels, etc… etc…  and he did great!
Each time a new doctor came in he got more and more nervous… he climbed onto my lap and made me promise multiple times that we were “almost” done. My heart ached for him! He was scarred and to be honest… mommy was scarred too. My little sweetheart held my hands and kept telling me that it would be okay because his mommy and daddy needed him.
When it finally came time for them to come get him, he started crying. One of the nurses carried Keller because he was too nervous to ride in the bed. He was trying to be so strong, but when the nurse picked him up, Keller quickly grabbed a hold of my hair and cried, “Mommy don’t leave me! Please stay hear mommy!” My heart ached and I cried listening to him down the hall bartering with the nurse to bring him back to me.. “my mommy needs me! Please! My mommy needs me!”
He couldn’t have said it any better… I do need him! I love him! And my little sweethearts … and big sweetheart are my whole world! I need them!
I never would have imagined how difficult it was to watch my little sweetheart be taken from my arms to have a procedure done without me having any control. What a terrifying feeling- and Keller couldn’t have described it any better- I needed him. It is an amazing bond the bond between a mother and her child. My family is my everything!! I am so grateful that families are forever!!
45 very long minutes passed… and Dr Deny came in to let me know everything went well. My eyes wouldn’t stop watering… seriously…. I had no idea how emotional this day would be!
He told me we were lucky that we did everything when we did- he went on to explain how swollen his adenoids were.. and his tonsils- but the adenoids shocked him! He said that between the adenoids and tonsils being so swollen it would have been dangerous to wait. This made my mamma heart feel better and not so crazy for being so paranoid before! Dr Deny left and I felt so much better and then….  I heard a nurse talking about ice skating and rollerblading down the hall…. I knew that, that had to be my little Keller!!
Sure enough Keller was wheeled into the room half awake.. Half asleep.. Shivering from the medications. The nurse laughed telling me that he was the sweetest little boy that she had had coming out of the anesthesia.. She said the first thing that he told her was that she needed to go find his mommy and daddy because they needed him! He told her that we will miss him if he isn’t with us. And that his daddy needs him to ice-skate and rollerblade.
She thought he was hilarious and that it was the drugs talking… and I confirmed that no… he really does ice skate and roller blade. Keller very drowsily told her… “I told you that! My mommy can show you on he phone!” haha
She loved him and came to visit him multiple times as he woke up. Keller was a sweetheart as he came out of his anesthesia… a little emotional.. and not wanting to drink or eat anything… but a sweetheart!
He quickly announced that he needed “victor and spencer”… the nurse thought those were his brothers… NOPE!  Those would be 2 Thomas trains that he wants! They laughed!
After bribing Keller to finally drink the bare minimum for us to leave, I told him we could go home and snuggle for a few days…. He told me that he didn’t want to go home.. he needed to go to the store and find Victor and Spencer! So… since my mommy heart was a big puddle of mush…. We went to the store!
We didn’t find Victor or Spencer but we did find Gordon and Phillip!
After… we headed home to relax and recover!
Recovery had its ups and downs… it took about a full 30 hours for the drugs to totally wear out of Keller’s system… he was a little loopy for a while!
We struggled with getting him to eat ANYTHING!! Luckily he would drink chocolate milk… and squeeze pouch yogurts.. but nothing else.. Literally! He had no interest in ice cream, popsicles, or really anything for that matter. It was tricky but as long as he stayed hydrated we managed…. And I got a whole lot of snuggles from Keller and Sailor… because Sailor has a very hard time sharing her momma!
And then bad luck struck…. Day 3 post op… the flu hit our little abode. It started with Sailor… she was one sad pukey mess! And then it hit poor little Keller.. and then it hit mommy and daddy! It was one very long and painful week. BUT we got through it and we were once again on the mend after 4 very long days!
Long story short… we had a rough go… but we are back and ready to roll!!


In the waiting room.....


Getting ready.....


After.... recovery time! 






you guys... we did EVERYTHING to stay busy while not being "busy"... trains, playdough, books, etc... 




a house full of sickies...... 





puke... poop.... and DISHWASHER EXPLOSIONS!!! 



Sailor's 18 month checkup... 

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