A few weeks ago I
had the opportunity to go to my darling cousin’s baby shower. At the shower,
there was a little spot that you could put advice and comments regarding
parenting. This advice could focus on routines, feeding, favorite products, do’s
and don’t’s, etc... Such a cute idea and a great way to get a variety of
insight. But at the same time, opening yourself up and asking for advise can be
very nerve racking- especially for a new mamma! My sister encouraged me to fill
out a card, and I laughed. What do I know? And then I looked at my two little
ones wreaking havoc at the shower and realized, you know what, I do have some
insight.... At the time I couldn't think of a whole lot and I quickly wrote a few
little thoughts of things I learned in my own experience- noting that every situation
and every child would be different. From the time of the shower I hadn't
thought much of it, until today.
A sweet friend at
church today commented asking how I do it all- I laughed! "Me, do what?!?"
She complimented me on my wardrobe, pictures, children, cooking, etc... I was
flattered but left shocked! This same friend is someone who I have looked up to
constantly thinking the same things- how does she do it all?!? This was
someone I watched thinking- why can’t I be more like that- Why can’t I be a
stay at home mom… Look how fit she is!... I wish I was a fun mom like her… and
all the while as these thoughts have gone through my head, she was saying the
same things about me.
Surely, she must be
mistaken. Surely she never cries and vents to her husband of all the faults she
sees in herself… surely her life is perfect… they definitely must have their
lives together since she can stay at home… surely they know some secret I don’t.
Today as we talked,
it all hit me. Nope, she isn’t perfect…. Not that she isn’t amazing… BUT she isn’t
perfect. She has trials, she has imperfections, and she, of all people was
admiring me. We talked and laughed and we both left a little teary eyed. This
was something I needed.
Hearing the words made me realize something
that I think as woman many of us forget. We, (you) are amazing! We are
beautiful. We are strong. We are daughters of God. And WE somehow everyday
forget that little fact- and then we tear ourselves down. We compare ourselves
to those around us. We look at all the advice that people so freely give and we
criticize ourselves. We aren’t that magazine cover mom… we have messy hair, we
wear sweats, we work, we get stressed, we cry, we are not perfect… it is not
always rainbows and butterflies- BUT that is a good thing!
Today I realized
something that I have always known but often forget- I am not perfect- but I am
a daughter of God and HE has trusted me enough to give me two of his children.
I too often see my flaws and short comings- I see those 5 extra pounds I want
to lose, I see all the hours I spend away from my little sweethearts working-
and I cry… far too often I complain to Kurt, wishing that I could be a stay at
home mom and snuggle my babies. I see my messy house when I get home each night
and I sigh.
I see all these
things and I cringe… but focusing on all this negative does nothing and I miss
the things that matter most…
Those 5 extra pounds,
yes I would love to lose them- but I work my rear end off and ya know what..
those 5 extra pounds let my little ones snuggle in and have some cushion- haha!
I hate that I work away from home so often- but I love that we are able to do
things that we wouldn’t be able to do as easily if I didn’t work. As I get home
and clean up the days mess, I look at all the fun my sweethearts are having,
and I know that they are being cared for while I am away. I so easily see all
the imperfections and flaws- and I think for the most part we are all great at
picking ourselves apart- BUT guess what- no one else sees those flaws. They see
a happy hard working mamma who loves her kiddos. And my kids, they see a mamma
who works hard for them and snuggles them every chance she gets!
So all this said and
done- LADIES! Stop ripping yourself apart and realize that YOU are amazing! So,
back to my advise…. Everyone has opinions- some you will love and some you will
hate- But take it all with a smile because for the most part everyone means
well. The best advice I can give- is to laugh- to
smile- to tell your sweethearts that you love them.. Constantly! If your child
is happy, healthy, kind, and knows that they are loved more than anything- then
I think you are doing a knock up job!
And because I just heard this beautiful song and just in case you need another extra little reminder or a little boost to know you are totally amazing and totally worth everything... just remember that even when you are having a rough time- we don't see the whole plan at once... but heavenly father does! "Beautiful Heartbreak"
Enjoy!! XOXO until next time!
