Back to the grindstone....

9/29/14

oh how I have dreaded this day. since the day we found out we were pregnant to the first time I laid eyes on my little princess there was always a day in the back of my mind that I dreaded.... that day, is today. Trying to go to bed last night was like pulling teeth- I couldn't sleep! knowing that once morning came I would have to leave my babies literally sickened me! Now I know I sound a little... of maybe a lot dramatic... BUT! these are my babies and over the past two and a half months I have been with them - snuggling, playing, kissing, hugging, laughing, crying, you name it and I was there! Sure there are days where I was quite certain my sanity was questionable, days when my mind and body were totally exhausted- but no matter what the feeling, I was there with my babies being what I always wanted to be, a mommy!

Going back to work after I had Keller was rough and I wanted nothing more than to stay home and snuggle my baby- BUT now I have 2 and it was so so SOOO much harder this time! I have loved being home listening to Keller jibber jabber as he constantly learns new things and I have loved watching him grow! Can you believe that he will be 2 in just a few weeks!! ay carumba! and then there is little miss Sailor, I just love her so much! I love watching Keller snuggle his baby and love her more than words can say!

I don't mean to whine but gosh DANGIT I miss them already! and so, as I sit here pumping I just can't stop  thinking about my babies.

9/6/14

So to say that I've been a little emotional lately would be a total understatement! going back to work has been rough!! not the actual job, not the lack of sleep... it is all because of the two little humans I am away from all day.

 I just don't like it one bit!!! Keller has woken up at 5 AM everyday that I've had to work. he doesn't get up to cry he just gets up to e with me. which makes me cry!

this morning he told me to get back in bed and stay home... he kept telling me... "bed mom!!! home please!!!! Keller?? no work." begging me to stay home with him- I laughed and tucked him into a makeshift bed on our recliner. and he would lay there as I got ready until he fell back asleep. It is adorable- BUT it breaks my heart!! oh if he only knew what I'd give to snuggle him all day, everyday!! and then there is miss Sailor- I am quite certain that she finds the whole ordeal quite entertaining. She wakes up, I feed her and lay her back down- and then she wakes up again to smile and chat until she knows she has our full attention and wakes her daddy up too!

little white dress

                   

So, as you can tell from the previous post about Sailor's blessing day, we didn't get too many good pictures of her in her gorgeous dress- SO.. we decided to have a little photo shoot!! First of all, I want to give a special shout out to my incredible grandma! 
I looked and looked for a dress that I loved, and just couldn't find the right one.. for the right price! Because holy smokes- these things can get pricey!! But after talking to my grandma about my dilemma, she said she would make one for little miss Sailor, and I couldn't have been more excited! It turned out absolutely gorgeous and is so very special to me! Knowing that it was made with so much love and sacrifice, i couldn't be happier or more blessed to be able to dress my little girl up in something that is so precious to me! Thank you grandma for making the most perfect little white dress!!!! Also, I cant help myself.. If you have never heard the song.. "what heaven sees in you" - go listen to it- NOW!! The knowledge of my little baby being so fresh from her heavenly fathers arms,  is so incredibly humbling! here is a little blurp of the first verse... (but really if you have a free minute in your day, go listen to it! It is beautiful and it has been going through my head all day! many tears have been shed.. but all good ones!)

Verse one:

Sent to this earth
You were saved through the ages for this day
and time
Child of great worth
Child of promise, daughter of the Divine
Pure and holy in a little, white dress
You were held in a circle and you were
blessed
And the Father looked down
And the angels surrounded that place
They knew the truth, all that you could do
And you will, too, if you have eyes to see
What heaven sees in you

(chorus)

Do you understand who you are
Part of the Father lives in you
If you continue on this path
Every promise God has given will come true

I love knowing that the little glimpse of heaven my sweet baby has brought is just that.. a glimpse! It is such a remarkable feeling to look at Sailor and now that she is absolutely perfect and pure at this very moment! My heart is so full and I couldn't be more proud to be her mother! 

Blanket made for us when we had Keller by my incredible young women leaders mom! Mamma Beatty!
Dress made by my incredible grandma  
OHHH.. and she made a gorgeous little petticoat for underneath! I mean seriously, she is amazing and I am so incredibly blessed to call her mine!! Love you grandma!!
Headband made by me for my little sweetheart!

Detail pictures:

Sailor's Blessing Day!

October 12, 2014. What an incredible day. My heart is so full of love and gratitude! Sailor, you are so precious and tiny- you have been on this earth for just over 12 weeks now, and today I know that you had an incredible spirit around you and could feel your heavenly fathers spirit so strongly!
Watching all of the incredible priesthood holders in my family surround my little princess as her daddy was able to give her a name and a blessing was truly a remarkable experience. Watching our grandpas, dads, brothers, and Kurt all surround our little girl brought instant tears to my eyes. Knowing that each of these incredible men as well as our other uncles and friends who came to support are each such incredibly amazing husbands and fathers who are all worthy priesthood holders brings more joy to my heart than I can explain.  Knowing that each of these men are there to love and protect my children is the greatest feeling. I have been so incredibly blessed to have two of gods greatest possessions given to me! My Heavenly Father has trusted me to care for, teach, and love his little angels! and I couldn't be more terrified and happy all at the same time!
Sailor, today you were blessed by your daddy!  It was a beautiful blessing given to you through your daddy, from your Heavenly Father. I know you won't remember it, but I know that if dad and I do our best to love and teach you, you will grow into a beautiful worthy daughter of god and the blessings given to you today will each unfold as you live your life according to the teachings of your Heavenly Father. Sailor, I love you and I want you to know that! I know that as you grow you will be tempted and satan will try his very hardest to misguide you and this absolutely terrifies me to even think about- BUT I know without a doubt that our savior lives and that he is always with you to help you along your way. Sailor you are such a perfect, beautiful daughter of god and I am so excited for all of the adventures we will have together as a family. You have already brought so much joy and happiness into our home! You are such a happy little camper- especially when you are being snuggled! and today you were absolutely perfect and didn't even make a peep during your blessing! (and you didnt spit up... it was truly a Sunday miracle!!) Sailor, we all love you so very much, especially your big brother!! You are his little buddy and he would carry you around everywhere to show you off, if we let him! You are our little princess and we are so very happy to have you in our family for all of eternity!!  I love you sweetheart!!!

proof that cute AUNTIE LEX can make babies happy.. and sleep!!! 

After everyone left, Sailor was wide awake and ready to play... and Keller was exhausted!!! hahahaha He loves to play with those cousins!!

Keller lovin on Sailor! 

We probably should have taken a family picture BEFORE all of the crazy festivities.. but nope! Proof that we all survived the fun! 

My beautiful baby girl in her first white dress!! 

When Keller grows up, he wants to be just like his grandpa! Shoes, planes, and all!!

Sailor snugglin grandma and grandpa!

We survived!!! well almost.. Keller is a bit worn out! 

All of the girls!!! all 5 sisters, one gorgeous grandma, and one beautiful baby girl! 

 Now for your entertainment... lets just say it is very difficult to get a smiling picture of all of us... ohh and Dan and Scott were our photographers.. so that may or may not have helped!! hahaha

Photo cred... scottie boy!