Thursday, November 6, 2014

forever blessed

As I silently sit here in the breast pump room just pumping away like I usually do the days I have to work... I hear two woman outside my stall door talking, laughing, and crying. "9 months" I heard one say and the other said "oh we're on month 5". I began to listen... not trying to be nosy.. there was just nothing else making so much of a peep except for the monotone murmur of pumps in the background. I thought haha ohh 9 months gosh what will Sailor be like in 9 months, trying to walk like her big brother did? I silently laughed to myself remembering Keller and then realized how quickly that time passed by. they continued on..."well things have improved it is such a miracle! we may even be able to go home soon, on a vent." The other replied how exciting that news seemed to be and spoke of how her baby had already been on a vent for just over 3 months. As I realized the reality of the news they were sharing, I began to cry. I have been so blessed. before overhearing them talking I was stressing over the cost of benefits and insurance to keep me and my family covered and healthy. i was stressing over work and deciding where to go from here. I was stressing over the thought of hiring someone to watch my kids on a weekly basis while I worked... my kids... my healthy kids. I cried knowing that as I sat here worrying about these worldly things, just down the hall there is room after room of parents worrying about so much more. worrying about money, work, time, and most importantly their child. worrying about their child's health. 9 months, this sweet mother was saying that they have been in the hospital for 9 months  They hadn't gone home for 9 months. 9 months of worry, and heartache. 9 months watching others care for your sweet baby hooked up to vents and tubes. 9 months of never knowing what the next day might hold. Their conversations continued and they spoke of everything you can imagine in the worries of being a parent, and they spoke of the things you never want to imagine as well. How blessed have I been? am I seriously so spoiled, so shellfish, and Worldly to be worrying about such seemingly meaningless things when others are worried about their child's life? I have two healthy little babies who I love and adore! who grow faster than humanly possible. who I get to snuggle and kiss everyday. two babies that I get to tuck in at night and who climb into my bed more often than not.  two healthy babies who mean the world to me. Over the past 10 years, I have been able to work in a profession where I get to help, where I get to take part in the healing process. it wasn't always easy, there were good days and days where I cried the whole way home. It was also easier to think that this or that was so rare and it could never happen to me or the ones that I love. but in reality, it can happen and it does happen every day. so today as I sit here, I can't help but to think of how blessed I am. I get to sit and think of my precious babies and know that I have been so blessed! I want to take everyday and grab it by the reigns and tell and show my family daily that I love them! 

Okay, I dont know how these never got posted BUT here are a few pictures from Oct 17th... Sailor's 3 months old and her big brother loves her to pieces and was thrilled to help pick out her outfit! 

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